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Our Journal; Lady Rose

When
Lady Rose first arrived I let her out of her crate while it was still in the shelter. I had hoped she would want to stay inside
with her puppies. I took advantage of her being in closed quarters and touched her while whispering kind words to her.
She tolerated my touch but did not know how to trust it or what to do with kindness.
Lady Rose left the shelter as soon as I opened the doggy-door and she never entered it again - even though
she could have come and gone at will. Her puppies were inside though so she sat at the door waiting and keeping them safe.
Whenever we let the pups out to play Lady Rose actually became gleeful. She loved her babies but even they could not make
her enter an enclosed area again. During this time, I managed to get her to trust me enough to take treats from my hand and
the odd time she would roll over to have her tummy rubbed. Her pups were eventually placed but we received others
and Lady Rose continued to guard the shelter. I thought this was touching until I let the new pups out to play and
Lady Rose was intolerant of them. It seemed all she knew to do at this new place was to sit at the door. To venture further
meant joining our dogs and she was unsure of that so she just sat and waited. Rosie,
as she was known in Attawapiskat, was supposed to come down to us two years prior but the night before she was to fly out
she was shot at and the dog she wandered with was killed right in front of her. Rosie had never been a tame dog but she
had allowed herself to get just close enough to people to be fed by them and she slept in a rescue worker's porch when it
was bitterly cold outside. She was traumatized by the gunshots and death of her friend but still she was caught, crated and
sent south as planned. When
Rosie arrived in Matheson, the first stop on her journey to us, she was put in a shed for the night. By morning she had chewed
her way out and escaped into the nearby bush. She was clever and capable so she never allowed herself to be caught again.
A man who lived back in the bush put food and water out for her once in a while and he renamed her Lady. He had no way of
knowing her name was Rosie since the rescue worker she had escaped from didn't dare admit to the circumstances of her sudden
arrival - it would have set rescue work back considerably. Lady had a litter of pups during her first year living in the bush but
she permitted people to take them from her when they were weaned. She knew instinctively that they needed more than
she could give. When, in the second year, she had another litter the man in the bush announced he could no longer put food
and water out for Lady as he was moving. The rescue worker knew she had to get Rosie/Lady out of there
while she had pups nearby or she would never get the chance again - others had threatened to shoot the wild bush dog. The pups were rounded up and crated and Lady was
shot with a tranquilizer gun in order to get her in a crate. We received Rosie/Lady with her six pups November
3, 2008 and that was the day she became Lady Rose.

We had never had an outdoor dog and one of the
hardest things we had to do was watch Lady Rose out in the elements. Paul built her a dog house but she was wary of it. When
we had freezing rain and Lady Rose continued to sit out at the shelter door I went out to her and begged her to take some
kind of shelter. I cried and broke icicles from her fur. We would look outside and see her covered in snow, she
would blink and flakes would flutter down in front of her. One night, while looking out the window, we realized that Lady Rose was not at her usual post - she had gone
in the dog house. We slept better that night than we had in weeks. All
our dogs had met Lady Rose and had invited her to join them. She seemed to thank them politely but remained wary of their
play. They have shown great patience and an understanding I wished I possessed. We made progress and every day I tried to push
Lady Rose a little further. First, she would take a treat from my hand, then she allowed me to pick her up - I managed this
a few times. Feeling her heart beat against my chest was such an accomplishment for us both. After putting a leash on
her two days in a row she became too suspicious for me to try it again. There were times she would let me touch her and other
times she would simply dance and prance in front of me. If I walked back into the bush she would follow me so we did
that often as a way to build trust. Each walk included one of my dogs so that she would become more familiar with them. I was determined that Lady Rose would,
one day, come in the house and lay on the couch by the fire. She would lift her head and give me a look of boredom
- one that suggested I could be doing more for her. That, at least, was my goal.
There came a time when Lady Rose showed no indication of moving forward so I took
leash in hand and made the decision for her. As she was taking a treat from my hand I slipped the leash loosely over
her head and though she jumped around in protest I waited her out. When she was calm, we moved forward together.
After a bit of a walk and many treats I released her once again. The next day we repeated the performance but this time, after
the walk, I took her to the front door and pulled her inside. After some fear and much caution she began to sniff
about and show interest in her surroundings. I pretended to ignore her and went about my business. In time, she found
her way to my office where I was working and joined my dog Ruth on the rug for a nap. It was January 4, 2009 and the beginning
had begun.

We thought Lady Rose was going into
heat so we made an appointment to get her spayed. It was actually very optimistic of us since Lady now avoided the leash like
the plague so there was really no way of capturing her. The night before her appointment we casually walked down the road
with all the dogs. When I saw the opportunity I pounced on Lady Rose and caught her up in my arms. I carried her into the
house and she slept in a crate in our room along with all the other dogs that night. In the morning,
Paul picked her up to carry her to the car but at the door she managed to jump out of his arms and escape into the outdoors
once again. So close and yet so far away. It turned out she was not in heat so it gave us a little more time to try again.
It was crossing the threshold that scared her the most - she was comfortable once inside. The panic occured
while going through the actual doorway. When I had been able to leash her I had pulled her in and out several times and all
that had done was fixate her even more. There was little more I could do without her cooperation.
The time came, once again, to make an appointment for Lady Rose to be spayed. This time we
had to trap her inside her dog house and put the leash on her that way. We had been moving the dog house closer and closer to our front door so once we pulled her to us we were just steps away from getting her inside.
Once again we crated her overnight and in the morning Paul put a leash on her and I held one end of it as he held her. She
sat on my lap for the car ride to the vet's office
and I dreaded getting her from the car into the clinic. If she got away from us here we would never see
her again. The thought of Lady Rose running and hiding again would be more than I could take. In the end, all went well and we got her home right after the surgery was completed. We kept her in the laundry
room so she could be still and recover. That night I put her on a 30 ft. lead and as much as she argued with it she did manage
to do her business outside. In the morning, however, Paul took her out on the same long lead and she
managed to pull out of her collar and escape. She had dissolving stitches and it was winter with
plenty of snow all about. There was no catching her again so Lady Rose healed from
surgery just as she had lived most of her life, outside and free. We had made great progress but there came a time when I had
to question how far Lady Rose would let me take her. It may have been slightly arrogant of me to suggest that one day she
would live in the house and sleep on the couch.

The next time Lady Rose entered
the house it would have to be through her own will. I wondered if this would ever happen though because every day she seemed
to show more signs of being wild. As spring approached she roamed further from home and I prayed no one would mistake her
for a wolf and shoot her. She began to bark throughout the night but I was unable to make out what she was saying or what
it might have been she was asking for. She began looking in windows at me - like the child that hadn't been invited
to the party. At these times I would go outside and beg her to trust me, to want me and to love me. I don't think my
groveling was the way to become her pack leader but I could't help myself. She allowed me to give her affection and when I told her how much I loved her,
the loveliest look came over her face. She seemed happy with her life and
I thought perhaps that was all I should be hoping for. She lived on her own terms and not ours. I felt
acceptance and patience was what she had been sent to teach me.
Lady
Rose appeared the morning of June 18th with a snout full of porcupine quills. She had them under her eyes and in her mouth.
First thing to come to mind was how to remove quills from the snout of a "wildish" dog. I walked outside and past
her - seeming to ignore her. She had been pawing at her face but when I walked by she followed me. I stood still for a moment and immediately felt her paw on the back of my leg. I turned to look at her and she lay down on her back -
she was asking for help. I bent down and stroked her gently before picking her up. She didn't resist while I carried
her through the house to the back screened in porch where we keep the grooming table. I held her on the table while Paul pulled
out the quills with pliers. Not once did Lady Rose make a sound or attempt to pull away. She leaned against me and allowed
us to do whatever was needed. Some quills required two or three pulls before they came out and I know it was painful but not
once did she react. We felt inside her mouth and down her chest for quills and all the while she trusted us. When we were
done I carried her to the dining room and put her down on the rug. She went under the table and slept there for several hours
before going back outside. After that, Lady Rose became more affectionate and showed her appreciation for what we
had done for her.
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I was determined that the next time she entered the house it would be through her own will and that day came on July 7th, 2009. Paul
had come in the house and left the front door open. When he turned to to go back outside he saw Lady Rose under the dining
room table. She had walked through the dreaded front door on her own. When I saw her it was all I could do to stay calm and
nonchalant - what I wanted to do was blow up balloons and
bake a cake. She stayed for just a short time before running out to play with the other dogs.
I learned then, to trust her wisdom. I waited for the moments she would give and appreciated whatever she
shared.
She continued to
come in on her own once in a while but on August 14th all that changed. Another dog in our
care, Two Paws, gave birth that day and Lady Rose was interested and concerned. She had had litters of her own so
she knew the smells and energy in the air. She went upstairs and stood outside the room the pups were being delivered in. Never
had she entered that far before. Five puppies were born that day and that night Lady Rose slept in the house for the very
first time. She must have felt she might be needed. That day she became a house dog.
One morning, when we came downstairs, we found
her asleep on the couch. Glory be to all that is wonderful! It took nine and
a half months to gentle Lady Rose. She still doesn't trust the doorway entirely and sometimes has to be tempted with a treat
to get her to come all the way in. She shys away from strangers but with us she is affectionate and loving. She has an enormous
crush on Huck, our male dog, and she actually flirts with him. By December 2009 she felt comfortable enough to pose for
our Christmas card photo. I cannot imagine not knowing Lady Rose and we spend much
time contemplating the lessons we were brought together to learn. This dog will will never be tamed completely but we
have managed to come to an understanding whereby she loves us and we love her. March
16, 2011: Lady Rose is still our "wildish" dog but she is a full family member now. She sleeps in our room,
eats every meal inside and complains when there isn't enough. She has begun a ritual that all the dogs love - a treat
almost every time they enter the house. We celebrated Lady Rose coming in and out so often all the dogs got in on it.
She has actually allowed the two people who come in to let the dogs out when we are away for several hours
to touch her. I will never be able to stop imagining her living in the bush for so many
years without us. What she went through and what she did without. She asks for love and affection every day now so I
know her loneliness would have been immense. Lady Rose is still teaching
me patience, acceptance and that all things are possible if you want them to be.
I am grateful for her every day.
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