MULLING AND MUSING

The dogs we rescue have a lot to think about. They come from places and situations where they have no choice in life other than to survive, endure and accept. Many suffer greatly yet are unable to escape their misfortune. I believe they wait for rescue and with it, a better day.

Once rescued they don’t spend time on blame, regret or doubt. They don’t look for fault. Dogs depend on their wits to survive so time is better spent mulling, musing and pondering each day and what it brings. They have a need to make sense of life. Once done, they trust, love and nap. Dogs don’t waste time or thought.

I appreciate all those who ask how I am doing but for the longest while I wondered just how to reply. Initially I was waiting till I got better before responding. Took some time to realize that I won’t. The brain tumour has changed far too much and created a new reality. There is no escape and this won’t simply pass. Like the dogs we rescue, I am enduring and accepting. I too am pondering, mulling and musing without blame or regret. If this is what life intended for me then I will follow.

Every week does seem to bring new failings though and I wonder what thread was pulled to unravel me this way. Never is there a sense of doom and gloom but there are times of sadness. Others need to move on and away but I cannot. Perhaps a somewhat solitary mission will teach me what I have yet to learn. I do find much of it interesting and a sense of calm has replaced a need to control. Like the dogs I choose not to waste time or thought so I seek understanding and do only what I find meaningful.

A second surgery is needed and I will most likely lose the sight in my right eye. The tumour has moved into my sinuses and I attend more doctors’ appointments than I can stand. The rest of my journey is unknown but it is hopeful and full of possibilities. Being loved by my family is my joy. Being needed by the dogs is my purpose. Being supported and believed in by friends is my life line. So, how I am doing? On bad days I’m okay and on good days I’m fabulous. Thank you for asking.

Sharron